"gender-detachment" was the word i needed. ive been thinking about my identity as an asexual woman for months, and even testing the words "nonbinary" or "genderfluid" just to see how they feel. they all feel weird and not right for me, but i feel like "woman" is just something i was given and am, and i don't really care whether or not that should change. i also know i feel uncomfortable being evaluated or boxed into things because of my gender. whatever im feeling, this post was very affirming and i learned something new about myself!! thank you <3
Thank you for sharing your findings. I couldn't understand why I feel uncomfortable when a lot of emphasis is put on gender or the differences between genders - whilst most people around me seem to be okay with it. It was really affirming to hear that many other ace people feel the same way! <3
Thanks for the question! Based on what I'm seeing, being gender detached and agender are different but can overlap with one another. I think the main difference is that agender entails claiming a gender identity (even if that identity is "not having a gender") while being gender detached doesn't necessarily entail claiming a gender identity. I see gender detachment as different also because it often involves critiquing gender as a lens for understanding the self in general. So identifying as agender is often (though not always!) interpreted as making a claim to a "true self" while gender detachment is more of a political/intellectual critique and less of an identity.
But that said, I think there's overlap between the two, and some of the people I interviewed who communicated gender detachment also identified as agender.
The definition between these two is so interesting!!! I came to the conclusion that agender was the best fit for me because other words didn't work (because they were "too gendered" lol), but gender detachment is sooo spot on! Absolutely FASCINATED that this is a recurring phenomenon in the asexual community! I was born female and I don't mind presenting female, but I genuinely class gender presentation as fancy dress, even looking androgynous is a form of fancy dress, I just like wearing clothes that fit.
As someone who experiences a sense of gender detachment *and* sexuality detachment (not sure if that's the language, but I'm going with it) this is really exciting! I'd love for more research into this topic (and I may end up doing some of it myself lol). I also think there may be a connection to neurodiversity here. My area of research is in autism (I'm autistic, read the research, and decided that someone had to fix it, and that someone would have to be me), and a lot of autistic people also feel this sense of disconnection with the very concept of gender and sexuality as anything coherent that could be applied to them personally. I read your actual paper on the OSF but figured I'd comment here since the OSF doesn't exactly have a comments section lol. Looking forward to seeing where you go in the field!
I stumbled over a line on Tumblr a while ago that perfectly encapsulates my gender (or lack thereof) - "my gender is me and my outbound are a you problem".
Great to see you bravely going into as- yet uncharted territory. I'm curious - not trying to be contrarian here - why Gender Detached, and not Gender Apathetic? Somehow to me ( ESL speaker trained in the sciences) apathetic sounds more neutral than detached : the standard lexicological equivalent of " whatever!".
" You do your thing, but don't push it in my face, because it's not a thing, a driver, in my life". So disinterested that they can't even be bothered to engage.
Detached sounds more intentional, as if the person is deliberately cultivating a " I'm on a different plane" attitude to communicate their disengagement.
"gender-detachment" was the word i needed. ive been thinking about my identity as an asexual woman for months, and even testing the words "nonbinary" or "genderfluid" just to see how they feel. they all feel weird and not right for me, but i feel like "woman" is just something i was given and am, and i don't really care whether or not that should change. i also know i feel uncomfortable being evaluated or boxed into things because of my gender. whatever im feeling, this post was very affirming and i learned something new about myself!! thank you <3
Thank you for sharing! This feedback means a lot to me.
Thank you for sharing your findings. I couldn't understand why I feel uncomfortable when a lot of emphasis is put on gender or the differences between genders - whilst most people around me seem to be okay with it. It was really affirming to hear that many other ace people feel the same way! <3
I'm glad to hear this resonated with you! I'll be sharing a lot more about this soon.
Is there a difference between being gender detached and agender?
Thanks for the question! Based on what I'm seeing, being gender detached and agender are different but can overlap with one another. I think the main difference is that agender entails claiming a gender identity (even if that identity is "not having a gender") while being gender detached doesn't necessarily entail claiming a gender identity. I see gender detachment as different also because it often involves critiquing gender as a lens for understanding the self in general. So identifying as agender is often (though not always!) interpreted as making a claim to a "true self" while gender detachment is more of a political/intellectual critique and less of an identity.
But that said, I think there's overlap between the two, and some of the people I interviewed who communicated gender detachment also identified as agender.
The definition between these two is so interesting!!! I came to the conclusion that agender was the best fit for me because other words didn't work (because they were "too gendered" lol), but gender detachment is sooo spot on! Absolutely FASCINATED that this is a recurring phenomenon in the asexual community! I was born female and I don't mind presenting female, but I genuinely class gender presentation as fancy dress, even looking androgynous is a form of fancy dress, I just like wearing clothes that fit.
As someone who experiences a sense of gender detachment *and* sexuality detachment (not sure if that's the language, but I'm going with it) this is really exciting! I'd love for more research into this topic (and I may end up doing some of it myself lol). I also think there may be a connection to neurodiversity here. My area of research is in autism (I'm autistic, read the research, and decided that someone had to fix it, and that someone would have to be me), and a lot of autistic people also feel this sense of disconnection with the very concept of gender and sexuality as anything coherent that could be applied to them personally. I read your actual paper on the OSF but figured I'd comment here since the OSF doesn't exactly have a comments section lol. Looking forward to seeing where you go in the field!
I stumbled over a line on Tumblr a while ago that perfectly encapsulates my gender (or lack thereof) - "my gender is me and my outbound are a you problem".
I find it really interesting that so many other Asexual people are also Agender. :)
Hi Canton,
Great to see you bravely going into as- yet uncharted territory. I'm curious - not trying to be contrarian here - why Gender Detached, and not Gender Apathetic? Somehow to me ( ESL speaker trained in the sciences) apathetic sounds more neutral than detached : the standard lexicological equivalent of " whatever!".
" You do your thing, but don't push it in my face, because it's not a thing, a driver, in my life". So disinterested that they can't even be bothered to engage.
Detached sounds more intentional, as if the person is deliberately cultivating a " I'm on a different plane" attitude to communicate their disengagement.
You might find this forum thread relevant to this piece. It was even linked there.
https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/265414-gender-apathy