Wonderfully said. (I wish this had been available when I wrote my masters dissertation a couple of years back.) As an ace/aro I worry about being welcomed in queer spaces often.
Love this! I once saw a post (probably on Tumblr) that said, "If you have to explain your sexuality to straight people, you're queer." Which resonated with me.
I do think think this "aces aren't queer" discourse was a momentary thing rooted in a particular kind of online discourse that peaked a few years back. I don't remember seeing it at all before 2010ish, and then seeing it a lot on Tumblr for a few years (only to later find out that a lot of the people saying it were TERFs). Thankfully, it's definitely become less common.
While that alienation of ace people was going on, I remember thinking, "Well, I may not be queer, but I am DEFINITELY not straight." But I eventually came to the same realization outlined here: if it pushes back against normativity, it's queer. My existence and experiences definitely push back against various kinds of normativity, therefore I am definitely queer. And since then I have been delighted to describe myself as queer.
Perfectly stated, Canton! Hey, we need to link up and do a project together, friend. I don't know when you have time, but you let me know, and I'll be there.
Great post. I wonder if your thoughts on queernormativity aren't already somewhat covered by homonormativity (the structrue that cis white male gays are privileged or prioritised in 'queer' spaces).
Definitely! I thought about writing it that way, but I think I might be trying to get at a slightly different (but substantially overlapping) idea. I'll have to chew on it some more.
Thank you for this
Wonderfully said. (I wish this had been available when I wrote my masters dissertation a couple of years back.) As an ace/aro I worry about being welcomed in queer spaces often.
It's a common challenge for ace and aro folks! I hope that my work can help make more room for ace and aro folks in queer spaces.
Love this! I once saw a post (probably on Tumblr) that said, "If you have to explain your sexuality to straight people, you're queer." Which resonated with me.
I do think think this "aces aren't queer" discourse was a momentary thing rooted in a particular kind of online discourse that peaked a few years back. I don't remember seeing it at all before 2010ish, and then seeing it a lot on Tumblr for a few years (only to later find out that a lot of the people saying it were TERFs). Thankfully, it's definitely become less common.
While that alienation of ace people was going on, I remember thinking, "Well, I may not be queer, but I am DEFINITELY not straight." But I eventually came to the same realization outlined here: if it pushes back against normativity, it's queer. My existence and experiences definitely push back against various kinds of normativity, therefore I am definitely queer. And since then I have been delighted to describe myself as queer.
Perfectly stated, Canton! Hey, we need to link up and do a project together, friend. I don't know when you have time, but you let me know, and I'll be there.
Great post. I wonder if your thoughts on queernormativity aren't already somewhat covered by homonormativity (the structrue that cis white male gays are privileged or prioritised in 'queer' spaces).
Definitely! I thought about writing it that way, but I think I might be trying to get at a slightly different (but substantially overlapping) idea. I'll have to chew on it some more.