Thank you so much for writing this article and for all your research on asexuality!! It took me so long to reach a similar conclusion that I'm ace AND queer (after denying myself/feeling excluded from queerness for a long time...) and your words are so affirming. I find that the opposition to normativity + ways I center non-romantic/non-sexual kinship like friendship are the main things that queerness means to me, as an ace person :-).
Thank you so so so much for this. I can’t tell you how many aphobes and exclusionists I’ve come across simply for my daring to say I’m ace and that that belongs in the queer community. I’m always having to point out that Stonewall also included aces, but those people who don’t think we should be included at all never want to consider the fact that we’ve always been in the community and always will be. I really appreciate you and your research on why we belong.
Love this! I once saw a post (probably on Tumblr) that said, "If you have to explain your sexuality to straight people, you're queer." Which resonated with me.
I do think think this "aces aren't queer" discourse was a momentary thing rooted in a particular kind of online discourse that peaked a few years back. I don't remember seeing it at all before 2010ish, and then seeing it a lot on Tumblr for a few years (only to later find out that a lot of the people saying it were TERFs). Thankfully, it's definitely become less common.
While that alienation of ace people was going on, I remember thinking, "Well, I may not be queer, but I am DEFINITELY not straight." But I eventually came to the same realization outlined here: if it pushes back against normativity, it's queer. My existence and experiences definitely push back against various kinds of normativity, therefore I am definitely queer. And since then I have been delighted to describe myself as queer.
Wonderfully said. (I wish this had been available when I wrote my masters dissertation a couple of years back.) As an ace/aro I worry about being welcomed in queer spaces often.
Perfectly stated, Canton! Hey, we need to link up and do a project together, friend. I don't know when you have time, but you let me know, and I'll be there.
Great post. I wonder if your thoughts on queernormativity aren't already somewhat covered by homonormativity (the structrue that cis white male gays are privileged or prioritised in 'queer' spaces).
Definitely! I thought about writing it that way, but I think I might be trying to get at a slightly different (but substantially overlapping) idea. I'll have to chew on it some more.
Thank you so much for writing this article and for all your research on asexuality!! It took me so long to reach a similar conclusion that I'm ace AND queer (after denying myself/feeling excluded from queerness for a long time...) and your words are so affirming. I find that the opposition to normativity + ways I center non-romantic/non-sexual kinship like friendship are the main things that queerness means to me, as an ace person :-).
I'm so glad you found it affirming! Thanks for the kind words.
Thank you so so so much for this. I can’t tell you how many aphobes and exclusionists I’ve come across simply for my daring to say I’m ace and that that belongs in the queer community. I’m always having to point out that Stonewall also included aces, but those people who don’t think we should be included at all never want to consider the fact that we’ve always been in the community and always will be. I really appreciate you and your research on why we belong.
I'm so glad it connected with you!
Thank you for this
Love this! I once saw a post (probably on Tumblr) that said, "If you have to explain your sexuality to straight people, you're queer." Which resonated with me.
I do think think this "aces aren't queer" discourse was a momentary thing rooted in a particular kind of online discourse that peaked a few years back. I don't remember seeing it at all before 2010ish, and then seeing it a lot on Tumblr for a few years (only to later find out that a lot of the people saying it were TERFs). Thankfully, it's definitely become less common.
While that alienation of ace people was going on, I remember thinking, "Well, I may not be queer, but I am DEFINITELY not straight." But I eventually came to the same realization outlined here: if it pushes back against normativity, it's queer. My existence and experiences definitely push back against various kinds of normativity, therefore I am definitely queer. And since then I have been delighted to describe myself as queer.
Wonderfully said. (I wish this had been available when I wrote my masters dissertation a couple of years back.) As an ace/aro I worry about being welcomed in queer spaces often.
It's a common challenge for ace and aro folks! I hope that my work can help make more room for ace and aro folks in queer spaces.
Perfectly stated, Canton! Hey, we need to link up and do a project together, friend. I don't know when you have time, but you let me know, and I'll be there.
Great post. I wonder if your thoughts on queernormativity aren't already somewhat covered by homonormativity (the structrue that cis white male gays are privileged or prioritised in 'queer' spaces).
Definitely! I thought about writing it that way, but I think I might be trying to get at a slightly different (but substantially overlapping) idea. I'll have to chew on it some more.