What is asexual joy? “It’s redefining relationships, it’s sleeping in, it’s baking cakes. But at its core, it’s a community celebrating themselves as whole people.”
Personally, my relationship with my asexuality is complicated but there was definite relief in finding my lack of attraction or compulsion wasn't some internal failing or something to be fixed but simply how I am.
I do feel happy for the younger generations of asexuals, who seem more accepted and come to understand themselves earlier in their lives. I think a big part of the joy is making connections with other asexuals - it is so freeing to make friends who truly understand.
Yes, I think that thanks to the internet ( thanks for the www, Dr. Tim Berners-Lee!!) people are discovering that the media version of what's fed to us doesn't necessarily resonate with our authenticity. So we are on a deprogramming path of replacing the MGM/ Disney narrative with our own.
My asexual joy this week has been discovering acespace.love, which is a free site designed for both dating and finding friends for ace people. It's brand new and such a nice place! I was scrolling through the profiles and seeing all these faces of people all around the world who are ace and it just made me very happy! (And no thirst-traps!)
This brings up another societal subtext of inextricably linking " joy" with " sex". To me - a pretty well- adjusted, optimistic woman who has absolutely no interest in seeking out sex - joy comes from continuing to pursue my childhood interests into adulthood without anyone putting the kibosh on my enthusiasm. ( "Why don't you stop whatever you're doing and pay attention to me?")
Personally, my relationship with my asexuality is complicated but there was definite relief in finding my lack of attraction or compulsion wasn't some internal failing or something to be fixed but simply how I am.
I do feel happy for the younger generations of asexuals, who seem more accepted and come to understand themselves earlier in their lives. I think a big part of the joy is making connections with other asexuals - it is so freeing to make friends who truly understand.
Yes, I think that thanks to the internet ( thanks for the www, Dr. Tim Berners-Lee!!) people are discovering that the media version of what's fed to us doesn't necessarily resonate with our authenticity. So we are on a deprogramming path of replacing the MGM/ Disney narrative with our own.
As someone who got to know about asexuality in her 50's, I definitely concur.
My asexual joy this week has been discovering acespace.love, which is a free site designed for both dating and finding friends for ace people. It's brand new and such a nice place! I was scrolling through the profiles and seeing all these faces of people all around the world who are ace and it just made me very happy! (And no thirst-traps!)
This brings up another societal subtext of inextricably linking " joy" with " sex". To me - a pretty well- adjusted, optimistic woman who has absolutely no interest in seeking out sex - joy comes from continuing to pursue my childhood interests into adulthood without anyone putting the kibosh on my enthusiasm. ( "Why don't you stop whatever you're doing and pay attention to me?")